8.29.2008
8.25.2008
So Who is America's Team?
I am getting incredibly sick of hearing about the Dallas Cowboys being "America's Team." Sure, the Cowboys have gone through a number of highly successful seasons. Sure, they have played through adversity, crack addicts, and celebrity girlfriends and come out on top. Sure, they have made the playoffs 29 times since their inception in 1960.
But that hardly makes them "America's team."
"America's Team" is more fitting for a team like the Washington Redskins who's home is in our nation's capitol. Perhaps they haven't been as successful as the Cowboys over the years, but their location makes a hell of alot more sense to be "America's Team."
Then there is the New England Patriots. Our company was founded and is still defended and run by Patriots. A Patriot is a symbol of our nation's strength, yet they are not "America's team."
How about the Eagles? After all, Philadelphia is the home of the Liberty Bell which is another symbol that stands for our freedom. Add the fact that the Eagle is also our nation's bird and you have another team that may be more fitting for the title "America's Team" than the Dallas Cowgirls.
So could they be "Texas's Team?"
Nah. There are far too many Texans fans, Saints fans, and residual Oiler...er...Titan fans rooting for other teams in Texas.
If anything I would give them "Oklahoma's Team." Most of my friends who are OU sooner fans love the Cowboys. I'd go so far as to say that 97% of Oklahomans who watch NFL are a fan of the Dallas Cowboys. Then you have those who fall pray to ignorance or just enjoying the Cowboy name and leap from Oklahoma State Cowboy fan-dom to Dallas Cowboy fan-dom. So...Cowboy's if you need to be possessed by an entity of people, I would suggest the most appropriate would be "Oklahoma's Team."
I am ashamed to share a birthday with Cowboy's owner, Jerry Jones, who is also NOT TEXAN. He's an Okie himself and when he took over "Oklahoma's Team" in 1989 forced all that was good about the 'Boys with Tom Landry out the door for Jimmy Johnson. Then his Oklahoma take over took a turn for the worst when Jones brought in OU head coach, Barry Switzer to take the reigns of the team.
America's team? Never.
The Dallas Cowboys are indeed "Oklahoma's Team"
But that hardly makes them "America's team."
"America's Team" is more fitting for a team like the Washington Redskins who's home is in our nation's capitol. Perhaps they haven't been as successful as the Cowboys over the years, but their location makes a hell of alot more sense to be "America's Team."
Then there is the New England Patriots. Our company was founded and is still defended and run by Patriots. A Patriot is a symbol of our nation's strength, yet they are not "America's team."
How about the Eagles? After all, Philadelphia is the home of the Liberty Bell which is another symbol that stands for our freedom. Add the fact that the Eagle is also our nation's bird and you have another team that may be more fitting for the title "America's Team" than the Dallas Cowgirls.
So could they be "Texas's Team?"
Nah. There are far too many Texans fans, Saints fans, and residual Oiler...er...Titan fans rooting for other teams in Texas.
If anything I would give them "Oklahoma's Team." Most of my friends who are OU sooner fans love the Cowboys. I'd go so far as to say that 97% of Oklahomans who watch NFL are a fan of the Dallas Cowboys. Then you have those who fall pray to ignorance or just enjoying the Cowboy name and leap from Oklahoma State Cowboy fan-dom to Dallas Cowboy fan-dom. So...Cowboy's if you need to be possessed by an entity of people, I would suggest the most appropriate would be "Oklahoma's Team."
I am ashamed to share a birthday with Cowboy's owner, Jerry Jones, who is also NOT TEXAN. He's an Okie himself and when he took over "Oklahoma's Team" in 1989 forced all that was good about the 'Boys with Tom Landry out the door for Jimmy Johnson. Then his Oklahoma take over took a turn for the worst when Jones brought in OU head coach, Barry Switzer to take the reigns of the team.
America's team? Never.
The Dallas Cowboys are indeed "Oklahoma's Team"
8.22.2008
The Texans Law Amendment....Cowboys Suck
Amendment 8.59.90.80.81.83.3
Any person(s) found rooting for a team or team(s) other than the Texans whos current place of residence is within 45 miles of Harris County will be therefore ridiculed, banished, or exiled depending on the severity of their rooting for other teams and their hatred towards the Texans. Hatred toward the Texans outweighs rooting for another team under any circumstance.
Exceptions to this rule include if this person(s) birthplace was the city of the team in which they are rooting. In this case, they may legally root for that team, but if they reside in the Greater "H-Town" area and bad mouth the Texans even in a jesting manner will be punished as according to the law.
Each 32nd day of the month, a Greyhound will be made available outside of Pasedena to take you to your correct city if you are found rooting for the wrong team.
Anyone found being a fan of the Denton Cowgirls from the months of July-May will be automatically ass whipped, stripped of all valuables, dressed up like a clown, ridiculed, made to look very, very gay, and banished to Cuba...I mean Dallas...without question.
THIS IS THE LAW AND THE LAW MUST BE ABIDED BY! GO TEXANS!
Any person(s) found rooting for a team or team(s) other than the Texans whos current place of residence is within 45 miles of Harris County will be therefore ridiculed, banished, or exiled depending on the severity of their rooting for other teams and their hatred towards the Texans. Hatred toward the Texans outweighs rooting for another team under any circumstance.
Exceptions to this rule include if this person(s) birthplace was the city of the team in which they are rooting. In this case, they may legally root for that team, but if they reside in the Greater "H-Town" area and bad mouth the Texans even in a jesting manner will be punished as according to the law.
Each 32nd day of the month, a Greyhound will be made available outside of Pasedena to take you to your correct city if you are found rooting for the wrong team.
Anyone found being a fan of the Denton Cowgirls from the months of July-May will be automatically ass whipped, stripped of all valuables, dressed up like a clown, ridiculed, made to look very, very gay, and banished to Cuba...I mean Dallas...without question.
THIS IS THE LAW AND THE LAW MUST BE ABIDED BY! GO TEXANS!
8.06.2008
Conspiracy Theory # 74: Yao Ming- A Chinese Experiment
I want to throw a theory out there that I have on Yao. I don't know how much I really believe into this....but it's interesting to think about...
Conspiracy theory # 74: Yao is a product of the chinese government. Pituitary gland experiments were done for years yeilding negative results, but scientists were finally successful with Yao...and now Yi....wait...is Yi Chinese? I digress.
Both Yao's parents are strong Chinese basketball players...much smaller strong Chinese basketball players. Chinese scientists naturally drew the conclusion that Yao would have basketball running through his genes, but how could they make him bigger, stronger, faster?
The pituitary gland. Glandular issues with this gland cause Giantism across the globe. If we can clone people or grow back tissue using stem cells...why couldn't a mad Chinese scientist find a way to alter the pituitary gland to induce Giantism?
It doesn't stop there folks...No way...no how. What's more is that the Chinese government is controlling Yao.
The Chinese government strong arms Yao into playing for the Chinese national team. They threaten him with his and his family's lives. Naturally this is why he absolutely COULD NOT come back to the Houston Rockets last year even if they made it to the Finals. For any other athlete, this would have been sufficient healing time for his injuries.
His injuries are in fact...a figment of the imagination of he and the chinese government to keep him from getting injured.
Aint that a bitch?
Alright now that's reaching.........or is it?!??!?!
GO USA!!!!!!!! Make the Dream Team proud
If there is something that smells foul here....Ronny Artest will smell it out and make it pay....or will he make it rain?!?!?!
PS- Brett Favre will break the Madden curse. Madden 2009...TUESDAY!!!
Conspiracy theory # 74: Yao is a product of the chinese government. Pituitary gland experiments were done for years yeilding negative results, but scientists were finally successful with Yao...and now Yi....wait...is Yi Chinese? I digress.
Both Yao's parents are strong Chinese basketball players...much smaller strong Chinese basketball players. Chinese scientists naturally drew the conclusion that Yao would have basketball running through his genes, but how could they make him bigger, stronger, faster?
The pituitary gland. Glandular issues with this gland cause Giantism across the globe. If we can clone people or grow back tissue using stem cells...why couldn't a mad Chinese scientist find a way to alter the pituitary gland to induce Giantism?
It doesn't stop there folks...No way...no how. What's more is that the Chinese government is controlling Yao.
The Chinese government strong arms Yao into playing for the Chinese national team. They threaten him with his and his family's lives. Naturally this is why he absolutely COULD NOT come back to the Houston Rockets last year even if they made it to the Finals. For any other athlete, this would have been sufficient healing time for his injuries.
His injuries are in fact...a figment of the imagination of he and the chinese government to keep him from getting injured.
Aint that a bitch?
Alright now that's reaching.........or is it?!??!?!
GO USA!!!!!!!! Make the Dream Team proud
If there is something that smells foul here....Ronny Artest will smell it out and make it pay....or will he make it rain?!?!?!
PS- Brett Favre will break the Madden curse. Madden 2009...TUESDAY!!!
8.05.2008
Water Chugging Ain't What It Used To Be
I know all the fellas at training camp are coming off the field in desperation for hydration. But can you over hydrate?
I think so.
This is the latest video I put together. I thought I could chug a half gallon of water like I used to after two-a-days....not happening.
Slow down on the water...conserve!
8.04.2008
Fans Can Be Idiots Sometimes...This I know!
Hearing all of these sports fans and idiots trying to take a strong stance in their want-to-be water cooler talk about Brett Favre being an idiot or for being classless for retiring and coming back.
It reminds me of the jokers who constantly call in to Houston radio shows saying that the Rockets should trade Tracy McGrady. They sound like they are just complaining for complaining sake. We need someone to step up and learn these idiots who call themselves fans, but are constant nay sayers and negative ninnies. Someone needs to teach a class on sports optimism and real evaluation before they pick a bandwagon to jump on and ride into oblivion not knowing they sound like blabbering falsely factual douche nozzles.
Favre is one of the best players in the history of the NFL. He is also someone who loved the game like life. It is his life. It’s hard to walk away from something that was your life and if you are good enough to back that up…come back. Extend your records. Lead your team to one more chance at a title. It's only right.
How come noone complained when Vinny Testeverde came out of retirement TWICE!!?!?!
As for Tracy…he is better than 75% of the rest of the league…he is injured a little more frequently, but the positive outweighs the negative. Sure he has not gotten out of the first round of the playoffs...ever....but he's a hell of player. So quit yer bitchin’ folks!
This brings me to my last point…Texans fans...quit bitchin’ about Schaub needing to be the backup. Yes, Sage is great. But not to discount his abilities as a QB which are obviously very good…one of the reasons he has been so successful is because the opposing teams he has faced had prepared to play against Schaub. They are two QB’s who make different reads and have different mechanics. So give Schaub his chance. Before his leading receiver was injured last year, he was one of the top 5 qbs in the league in yards, efficiency, and YPC.
Someone needs to address these blabber mouthing false fans before they grow Cowboy fan bacteria and start rooting for that ugly blue star.
It reminds me of the jokers who constantly call in to Houston radio shows saying that the Rockets should trade Tracy McGrady. They sound like they are just complaining for complaining sake. We need someone to step up and learn these idiots who call themselves fans, but are constant nay sayers and negative ninnies. Someone needs to teach a class on sports optimism and real evaluation before they pick a bandwagon to jump on and ride into oblivion not knowing they sound like blabbering falsely factual douche nozzles.
Favre is one of the best players in the history of the NFL. He is also someone who loved the game like life. It is his life. It’s hard to walk away from something that was your life and if you are good enough to back that up…come back. Extend your records. Lead your team to one more chance at a title. It's only right.
How come noone complained when Vinny Testeverde came out of retirement TWICE!!?!?!
As for Tracy…he is better than 75% of the rest of the league…he is injured a little more frequently, but the positive outweighs the negative. Sure he has not gotten out of the first round of the playoffs...ever....but he's a hell of player. So quit yer bitchin’ folks!
This brings me to my last point…Texans fans...quit bitchin’ about Schaub needing to be the backup. Yes, Sage is great. But not to discount his abilities as a QB which are obviously very good…one of the reasons he has been so successful is because the opposing teams he has faced had prepared to play against Schaub. They are two QB’s who make different reads and have different mechanics. So give Schaub his chance. Before his leading receiver was injured last year, he was one of the top 5 qbs in the league in yards, efficiency, and YPC.
Someone needs to address these blabber mouthing false fans before they grow Cowboy fan bacteria and start rooting for that ugly blue star.
8.02.2008
Favre the Bum
Brett Favre is looking to come back. Of course as my previous blog posts have mentioned, I would love to see the greatest player in NFL history come back in Green and Yellow, but it looks like the Green and Yellow are hell bent on that not happening and him possibly not coming back at all.
He needs to come back, but if he doesn't....that's how he will end up. A bum on the streets? Doubtful...considering his tons and tons of millions of dollars and his Mississippi lower spending habits....but still, it's a funny pic I put together.
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