Hi anybody who reads this! I'm Trey's friend Garrett. I'm going to be contributing to this blog now! I also write for National Lampoon on their sports and celebrity web sites.
Anyways. I'm excited for the Texans this year. In years past we used to start off making up the schedule with the definite losses we will have to start seeing what the potential was for our team. This first game, no Cushing, no luck against the Colts would have been the first game I marked a little L beside. In pen. Now, optimism is overflowing. And I see no reason why we shouldn't feel this positive for the rest of the year. Here's why:
Washington Redskins
In their dominating week 1 victory over the Dallas Cowboys, those who's skin is red dominated on the offensive end with a grand total of zero touchdowns. Sure Arian Foster alone had only ten yards less total offense than all of the Redskins combined. And they're still the Redskins. They still have most of the issues they had last year.
Dallas Cowboys
We've already done it once this year! And even though we all know the Cowboys won't be the vortex of suck they were in Washington, they still have a lot more holes than anybody thought. Their D forced no turnovers. They sacked McNabb once.
And, I just have a feeling that this is the year evil is vanquished.
Oakland Raider
Because you've watched the Raiders at any point over the last decade.
New York Giants
The Giants played a sloppy game. Sure the final margin looked nice, but I would like to see them do that with four turnovers in Houston. This is not the well polished machine that the Colts are. Eli may not be Frank Stallone or Ozzie Canseco level drop off from his talented brother, but he is a lesser QB. In nearly every position, the Giants are a drop off from the Colts and we should see that this weekend. And then we'll feel good.
Kansas City Chiefs
Part of not overreacting to week 1 means not believing Kansas City has a football team.
Indianapolis Colts
We're on a winning streak against them!
San Diego Chargers
Things are just going to get worse for them. The more time they go without McNeil and Vincent Jackson, the more frustrations are going to mount and the more they will lose to sad little teams like the Chiefs. And after watching their game versus the Chiefs, I fully expect Rivers to yell, whine and pout to every other player on the team at least two dozen times by this point in the season, forcing them to beat him into a bloody pulp. And do you even know who the Chargers' backup QB is? In my National Lampoon column, I predicted a blowup season for the Chargers and they look on course for that.
Jacksonville Jaguars
As the Jags slowly atrophy fans and talent, the Texans keep getting stronger. And the Jags were the one team we always seemed to do really well against. Even in our losses, it seems like "How did we let THEM beat us? I mean, that team is sad."
New York Jets
Because this man isn't playing in the game:
Tennessee Titans
Again, this is the year of breaking curses and vanquishing evil. And none are more evil than Bud Adams and Vince Young. Don't let their romping on Oakland worry you. In case you forgot, Oakland is Oakland. And The Titans let Darren McFadden get 95 yards rushing. If any of you have owned McFadden over the last two years in Fantasy Football, you will know what a crazy black eye that is on the Titans defense. Foster should be able to rush for 450 yards or so.
Also, in my Madden season, I won this game 101-17. Steve Slaton rushed for 386 yards and 8 TDs. Michael Crabtree also caught two TDs for the Texans while Dwight Freeney played very well opposite Mario Williams.
Philadelphia Eagles
Andy Reid seems hellbent on proving the Eagles were right for going with Kolb over McNabb. Kolb will be fully healthy by this week.
Baltimore Ravens
The Jets looks so out of sorts. They had 6 first downs. 176 total yards. Baltimore picked on Antonio Cromartie and Boldin burned him for 7 catches for 110 yards. They forced a fumble and caused everyone to push the panic button on the Jets. And they only won by a point.
Tennessee Titans
Tennessee still won't have anything resembling a Wide Receiver at this point. We won't have Kris Brown to blow a field goal wide left again. Brian Cushing will be back up to full speed.
Denver Broncos
What happens when you take an 8-8 team, remove their best Wide Receiver and Elvis...? And if that doesn't make you feel better, they just traded for Laurence Maroney. A man that the Patriots couldn't make work. And they made Kevin Faulk, Sammy Morris and BenJarvus Green-Ellis work. Hell, look at what New England was able to make Matt Cassel do.
Jacksonville Jaguars
They should be mired in a deep QB Controversy by now. There's no way MJD's knee is holding up all year. And they're still just not a very good team.
This in no way is a prediction of the Houston Texans going 16-0. But, unlike in years past, every week, we should go into the game knowing we should have a good shot at pulling it out.
Awesome!
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